Under the Wgt. of the World 10

Chapter 10: Looking for a Miracle
Helpless for the moment, Robin ordered everyone back to the Tower.  From there, they could develop a plan and could track Olivia with her communicator signal.  Raven had insisted that Olivia keep the communicator in her pocket, and now she was grateful that she had.  Robin opened a new screen on the large screen in the living room area and immediately, a large red dot began to blink in even rhythm as the target moved across the screen.  
“He’s in the sewer system!” Cyborg cried.  
“What are we waiting for?” Terra added.  “Let’s go!”
As the Titans prepared to leave the Tower again, Raven volunteered to stay behind, claiming that someone ought to be there in case Jinx went into labor.  The others nodded in approval; Beast Boy kissed his wife reassuringly and then followed the team.  Since Jinx had nodded off on the couch, Raven retreated to the sanctuary of her room.  She tried to center her energies, but there was a babbling noise in the bedroom nearby.  Little Emily was nearly old enough to begin speaking, and it brought to Raven’s mind what her first two children’s first words had been.  Toby’s first word had been ‘car’.  Beast Boy had teased that the kids were spending too much time with Cyborg and the T-Car.  Olivia’s first word had been ‘Azarath’ and Raven had been so proud.  It came out more like ‘asarat’ but Raven didn’t care.  Her little daughter had absorbed her mother’s daily meditation and weeks later, was able to repeat the entire phrase.  Raven let tears slip down her cheeks.  She wasn’t sure what she was ever going to do if she lost Olivia.  
Raven slipped down the hall to the bathroom and splashed water on her face.  She looked at herself in the mirror as her memories of the past week crowded her mind.  The struggle to get a raise in their salaries was foremost in her mind.  Raven patted her face dry with a towel and then took two small pills out of an inside pocket of her cloak.  She stared at them in her hand and swallowed hard as she blinked back tears.  Raven’s hands started to shake and she dropped the large caplets, letting them fall with two plinks on the bathroom counter.  Raven stumbled back a step and sank to the floor, resting her head against her knees and starting to cry.  These tears became sobs moments later and a torrent of tears followed.  
“I can’t…” she wept.  “I just can’t…”
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Tired and a little achy, but none the less pleased with himself and the performance of his team, Robin rubbed his hand over his sore neck as he headed upstairs.  He wanted more than anything now to take a shower and relax with his son and his wife.  When he arrived at the bathroom and found the door locked, he stopped in surprise.  Was that Raven he heard?  Robin called out and asked Raven if she was all right, but the dark Titan didn’t answer.  Sensing something wrong, Robin keyed an override to the lock and opened the door.  Finding Raven on the floor, he dropped to the hard linoleum floor on his knees and wound an arm around Raven.  
“What’s wrong?” Robin asked.  Raven didn’t answer, but Robin spotted the pills on the counter.  He had seen them on TV once on a special news report.  
“Raven…you’re…” Robin began, but he didn’t know how to continue.  
“I couldn’t do it!” Raven sobbed, tears still flooding down her cheeks.  Robin shifted and sat down on the floor.  
“Raven…why…”
“I couldn’t help thinking about what you guys said…about the Mayor…we can’t afford…”  Raven could hardly speak with the emotions that choked her voice.  “We can’t afford to have another baby…”  Robin fought not to cry along with her as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.  He sat and rocked her a while and then, when she was calmer, he lifted her into his arms and carried her back to she and Beast Boy’s room.  He drew a blanket over her and stayed until she fell asleep.  With this accomplished, Robin disposed of the pills.  He braced himself for what was coming next: he had to tell Beast Boy.  
Arriving back in the living area, the whole room reverberated with happiness.  The mission had been a complete success.  Beast Boy held Olivia in one arm and a piece of pizza in the other.  Cardiac had succumbed to a combined effort of the Titans coming at him from every angle and Olivia taking advantage of the distraction to start pulling the wires the stood exposed inside the cavernous enclosure.  Cardiac had overloaded and collapsed, still spasming as Beast Boy tore a hole in the side of him and extracted the girls.  They very nearly weren’t able to save Natalie, but all of them sighed in relief when she coughed and gasped back to life.  
Robin took Beast Boy aside and whispered in his ear what had transpired downstairs.  He tried to explain to him that he had found Raven on the floor in the bathroom, weeping and having talked herself out of something that she would have regretted for the rest of her life.  
Beast Boy crept into their bedroom, not sure how he should react.  Part of him was terrified.  Why hadn’t Raven come to him?  Why would she jump to such a dangerous ultimatum?  The other part of him was hurt.  Didn’t she trust him?  He crawled up onto the bed and pulled Raven into his arms.  She blinked her eyes open and looked at him with red-rimmed, puffy eyes.  
“Robin said you needed to talk to me,” Beast Boy said.  He didn’t know how else to begin.  He was afraid if he began with one question, it might snowball into an interrogation.  Raven started to cry again.  
“Honey, I’m so sorry…” Raven wept.  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Beast Boy asked.  
“I didn’t want you to worry about the money…you were so frustrated already and we had to spend so much getting school clothes and supplies for Olivia…we’re the largest family and we’re already stretched tighter than we should be…I didn’t think we…I…didn’t think we could afford…” Raven couldn’t seem to manage the rest of what she was trying to say.  
“While I understand what you’re saying, it scares me that you were ready to end this pregnancy and not tell me about it,” Beast Boy replied.  
“I couldn’t do it!  I couldn’t stand the thought of it!  It’s just…I didn’t think I had any other choice!” Raven sobbed, clutching Beast Boy’s shirt.  Beast Boy hugged her tight, murmuring soft words of comfort.  This time, Beast Boy couldn’t help crying too.  
“Raven, I love you so much,” he managed.  “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t come to me.  Honey, this is my baby, too.  I think I have some say in what happens.”
Raven nodded.  She knew he was right and was relieved that he was still speaking to her after she had kept this awful act from him.    
“Even if the money were an object, we’d still find a way to make it work, Raven.  You and our kids are my whole life!  Please, let me help you through this!” Beast Boy said, looking deep into Raven’s eyes.  Raven cried again and buried her face in his chest.  
“Yes…I will…I’m so sorry, Beast Boy, I’ll never keep anything from you again,” Raven murmured.  
“I love you, Raven.  I want you to come to me if you ever need anything at all.  That’s my job.  It’s my job to love you and make sure you have what you need, no matter what,” Beast Boy replied.  Raven nodded and sniffled away her tears.  
“I love you, too…Is the world ready for another Logan?” Raven softly teased.  Beast Boy stopped a moment and then laughed quietly.  
“Let’s find out,” he replied.  “Are you hungry?” He took Raven’s hand and led her upstairs to eat dinner with the rest of the team.  When they arrived, Beast Boy told the rest of the story.  
When the Titans recovered the girls, the first place they went was City Hall.  Standing outside the mayor’s office, the Titans heard the Mayor shouting at some police officers to find his daughter.  
“Natalie has asthma!  You have to find her!” the Mayor had shouted.  Natalie wiggled out of Robin’s arms and ran into her father’s office.  The Mayor had been so grateful he offered the Titans any reward they wanted before he could think about what he was saying.  Robin had grinned and Beast Boy had cuddled Olivia in his arms.  Robin left with a large envelope in his hands and a bounce in his step.  
“Maybe now the Mayor will think twice about what he says,” Torque said, bringing all of them back to the present.  
“What did you say that made him give us all such a big raise?” Terra asked, peeking at the check with her name on it.  
“We had an excellent helper,” Robin smiled, nodding at Olivia.  
“I didn’t do anything.  Natalie did it all,” Olivia replied.  
“Yeah, it was Natalie that asked her dad why Olivia’s family didn’t have enough money,” Torque said with a smile.  When the others went back to their pizza and conversations, Beast Boy tightened his grip on Raven and kissed her temple.  Then he pulled another envelope from his pocket.  He offered it to Raven and nibbled her earlobe a little as she opened it, making her smile.  Raven looked at the check and softly gasped.  It was more than she had hoped for.  
“See?” Beast Boy said happily in a voice low enough for only her to hear.  “I told you everything would be okay.”
“I was afraid to have faith in people.  I always have.  I never expected this,” Raven replied.  
“Faith…we’ll have to say extra prayers tonight.  To God *and* to Azar,” Beast Boy whispered.  Raven smiled at his consideration of the faith of her people and took his face in her hand and kissed him.  
Maybe everything would be all right after all.  
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